For Shopping Siren, it always starts the same way: an innocuous tickle in the back of the throat.

It almost always ends the same way: saltine crumbs in the bed, empty orange juice glasses stacked precariously on every available surface, and wadded up tissues strewn over, under and within the couch cushions.

In between: sniffling , sneezing, coughing, aching …

You know what I mean.

It’s cold and flu season.

Woo. Hoo.

My immune system lost its most recent battle with a cold virus. It’s not pretty. (See above.) But my loss is your gain.

Because when you get sick, I now know where you can find rainbow-colored fuzzy slippers.

* Puffs Plus with lotion and Vicks, 48-count, Walmart, $1.47

Bag Lady and I reviewed these two-ply tissues as part of our May tissue comparison.  At the time, we said: A great tissue if you have a cold (Vicks smell was very strong, eliciting reactions like “Whoa,” “Wow” and “My sinuses! My sinuses!”). That still stands. They are great tissues if you have a cold. And if you do, you’ll be shouting, “My sinuses!” in a good way.

* DVDs, various, Walmart, $5

Curl up on the couch and doze with “The Lake House” or “The Blair Witch Project” or, heck, the ’80s classic “Any Which Way You Can.” Clint Eastwood won’t mind if you snore.

* Spring Valley vitamin C gummies, 70-count, Walmart, $5

According to the bottle, one little orange-flavored gummie provides 200 percent of your average daily value of vitamin C. Perfect for those of us who would rather get our vitamins from squishy, fruit-flavored, candy-like substances than, you know, fruit.

* SO fuzzy clog slippers, Kohl’s, $11.99 (reg. $22)

Fuzzy, plush slippers in a variety of colors, including bright pink, teal and purple. Can’t decide? Try a rainbow-colored pair. Hey, you’re sick. You at least deserve to shuffle around in funky-colored, fuzzy slippers.

* Simply Vera Wang PJ set, Kohl’s, $32.99 (reg. $48)

Microfleece pajama set in red with white snowflakes, black with white polka dots or a flannel shirt pattern. It’s microfleece, so you know it’ll be super soft and comfy for lounging on the couch. It’s Vera Wang, so you know you won’t be embarrassed to be seen by the delivery guy when your thoughtful boyfriend sends you get-well-soon flowers. (And yes, that happened. I know — total keeper!)

* Simply Home Yankee Candles, various sizes, Kohl’s, up to $21.99

Eucalyptus to invigorate and soothe. Sandcastle to remind you of those warm summer days when you were healthy. *cough*

* Yogi Organic Tea cold season sampler variety pack, Axis Natural Foods, $3.99

This 16-pack comes with four bags each of Yogi’s Throat Comfort, Breathe Deep, Echinacea Immune Support and Cold Season teas. Sure, “Breathe Deep” sounds goofy … until you can’t.

Pair with:

* Tony’s Honey, 8 ounces, Axis, $3.38

Honey made in Buckfield. Sore-throat relief made in heaven.

Best find: Sonoma sherpa throw, Kohl’s, $24.99 (reg. $49.99)

Unbelievably soft blanket in dark brown, light brown or black and white. Perfect for crawling under or dragging around your shoulders as you shuffle around the house looking for the TV remote. (Psst. It’s between the couch cushions. It’s always between the cushions.)

Think twice: Olbas inhaler, Axis, $5.12

Stick this little tube in a nostril and the aromatic vapors are supposed to refresh and cool nasal passages. However, use by more than one person may spread infection, the packaging warns. So don’t do that. This year’s cold stops here. Woo-hoo!

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who never get colds or the flu) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.