You’d love to buy your dad a Lamborghini.

A Corvette.

A Mustang.

A … new something that starts in the morning without jumper cables and a hard shove downhill. 

But absent that winning lottery ticket or a sudden (and really huge) raise, you probably can’t afford the $380,000 Lamborghini or even $20,000 for the new something. That’s OK, though, because dads the world over have one thing in common.

They adore their old cars.

Puttering around. Topping off fluids. Scrubbing whitewalls. Tinkering with the engine. They get a charge out of new spark plugs and vintage accessories. They rise to the challenge of making an old rust bucket look like a shining star.

And they love it when you notice.

So with Father’s Day right around the corner, Shopping Siren figured there’s no better way to show Dad he’s loved than to love the thing he loves. 

Um. By buying him car stuff.

Can’t tell the difference between a timing belt and a serpentine belt? Amen. Luckily, some gift ideas don’t require a ton of car knowledge.

Or a second mortgage. 

— Window mop, Napa, $2.99

A chamois circle that looks something like a pretty loofah. Just don’t tell Dad that.

— Waterblade by Pilot, Pep Boys, $12.99

Forget towels and air dryers! Squeegee water off the car with the Waterblade. Because water is … bad for cars? Leaves spots? I’m not sure. But Dad will know.

— Clock/ice alert thermometer, VIP, $12.99

Tells you what time it is. Tells you what the temperature is outside. Tells you whether you’re getting close to black ice conditions. Add “tells you what the game score is” and you’ll have the perfect Father’s Day gift.

— Dupli-Color perfect match car touch-up paint, VIP, $6.59

Choose from dozens of colors, including inferno red, flame red and redfire. The differences are subtle. Who’d imagine? 

— Premium gear oil 80W/90, 35 pounds, VIP, $49.99

According to the bucket (yes, it comes in a bucket), this is “multipurpose extreme pressure gear lube” for passenger cars and other vehicles. I’m not completely car illiterate. I know oil. But a 35-pound bucket? Give it to your dad just to see his face.

— Haynes Repair Manuals, VIP, $14.99

Because your father doesn’t know everything. Well. Until you give him this book.

— Headlight restorer and defogger kit, Advance Auto Parts, $21.49

Seeing where you’re driving. It’s a good thing.

— Digital pencil tire gauge, Advance Auto Parts, $9.19

Kicking the tires is fine. Knowing said tires have exactly 27.5 pounds of pressure is better.

Best find: Superman decal and trailer hitch cover, Pep Boys, $14.99 and $19.99

Your father? The real Superman.

Think twice: Hello Kitty seat cover, Advance Auto Parts, $24.99

Sure, the base of these seat covers is manly black. But the Hello Kitty logo and string of pastel hearts? Slightly less manly. Don’t force him to show his sensitive side. Unless such seat covers come standard on the new Lamborghini.

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who growl at Hello Kitty) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.