Last week, the Auburn School Committee announced it’s going to give every kindergartner an iPad 2. They’ll help teach kids their letters, school officials said. They’ll make learning fun! They’ll innovate and invigorate the classroom!

Shopping Siren takes absolutely no position on giving $500-each Apple tablets to 5-year-olds, except to say the idea is … interesting.

Yeah. Interesting.

Read that however you want.

No matter how you feel about the iPad plan, however, it’s clear that times — and educational toys — have changed. When I was young, educational toys were chiefly limited to puzzles, board games and, for the technologically advanced, See ‘n Say (“The cow says ‘Moo!‘”).  Today’s toys would laugh at that. In some cases, literally. 

But what do you do if you don’t live in Auburn and won’t be getting an iPad for your kindergartner? If you can’t afford to buy the latest and greatest technological plaything for your 5-year-old? If you want fun, age-appropriate and educational all in one chunky, primary-colored package?

Well, if you’re me, you go shopping. 

* Melissa & Doug Take-Along Tool Kit, Waldenbooks, $12.99

Wooden tool kit filled with small, brightly colored wooden tools, nuts, bolts and screws. Teaches fine motor skills, problem solving and — hallelujah! — how to fix that annoyingly drippy faucet in your kitchen. Well, someday.

* Creativity For Kids “Coloring and Artivity” books, Waldenbooks, $4.99 (small) and $7.99 (large)

These glossy books allow kids to color, draw, paint and cut out pictures on a variety of themes, such as wild animals, sea life and fairies. Think coloring book on steroids. I was partial to the “Gross and Yucky Monsters and Aliens” book, which allowed me (er, children) to cut out body parts and puzzle-piece them together to make my (er, their) own monster. No child (or columnist) can resist.

* Disney Princess Play and Learn, Waldenbooks, $9.99

Little pink keyboard packaged with a simple Disney songbook. Would-be Mozarts match the colors and letters on the keys with the colors and letters below traditional notes on the sheet music. A nice introduction to music that can get a young child playing a recognizable song within minutes. Just make sure you’re OK with the fact that the song will be Disney-themed, princess-centric and played ad nauseam until the keyboard runs out of batteries. Or until you quietly smash it with a hammer in the middle of the night. Whichever comes first.

* Sunny Patch Seaside Sidekicks Horseshoe Set, Percy’s Burrow, $12.99

Great for improving hand-eye coordination and gross motor skills, this sea life-themed set includes two plastic stakes and two sets of adorable plastic horseshoes — one in the shape of a blue seahorse and one in the shape of an orange crab. Horseshoe crab. Ha! Get it? If you were 5, you’d be rolling on the ground with laughter right now.

* Lego medieval set, Percy’s Burrow, $9.99

This starter set features a to-be-built knight, castle and a dragon breathing a puff of plastic fire. Teaches colors, shapes, patterns and following directions. Or when to throw out the directions and build a dog instead of a dragon. (Still fire breathing, of course.)  

* Melissa & Doug puppet time theater, Percy’s Burrow, $89.99

OK, yes, at nearly $90 this breaks my affordability rule, but it was too charming to ignore. Bright, child-sized puppet theater includes red velvety curtains, a chalkboard panel for listing the latest show and a clock with moving hands to tell your audience when it can catch the next viewing. Great for both concrete skills (telling time) and more abstract abilities (creativity). You could definitely fashion your own puppet theater out of a cardboard box and a couple of old dish towels-turned-curtains — a lot cheaper and a learning experience all its own. However, there’s something to be said for puppet professionalism.  

* Elmo’s A-to-Zoo Adventure game for Wii, GameStop, $24.99

Launched in 2006, the Wii isn’t the height of technology anymore. Which means your bored 15-year-old might be willing to relinquish it to your bored 5-year-old. This Sesame Street-themed game teaches letters and helps with reading readiness, with difficulty levels that adapt to the child. Also, there’s Elmo. For some parents, that’s a selling point. For others, not so much.

Best find: Super Sonic Paper Planes by Flying Frog Publishing, Waldenbooks, $5.99 

Kit shows kids how to make a proper paper airplane, from basic to intricate folds. Teaches math, engineering and dozens of ways to make a really cool plane that will fly across the room and hit your teacher squarely in the back of the head. I mean, only if you fold it right. It’s a priceless education, really.

Think twice: The Bachelor: The Videogame for Wii, GameStop, $10.99

Rated T for teen because of alcohol and sexual content, this game lets you compete for one of five bachelors or bachelorettes a la “The Bachelor” reality TV show. I think we can all agree that’s not appropriate for 5-year-olds, unless the goal is learning to spell T-R-O-L-L-O-P and C-A-U-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y T-A-L-E.

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who believe all toys should squeak) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.