Shopping Siren is a bunny devotee. 

I mean, bunnies are soft. They have wiggly noses, puff-ball tails and they hop! A lot. Adorably. What hard-hearted heathen can deny the unparalleled cuteness of a bounding ball of fluff? (Rhetorical question. I probably don’t want to know.)

In real life, rabbits are of course like any pet: They need food, water, medical care, love and attention. They’re innately curious, extremely sociable and very intelligent. (OK, litter-box-level intelligent, not do-your-taxes intelligent. C’mon.) Because house rabbits can live 10 years or more, their care is a commitment. Buying or adopting a real rabbit on the spur of the moment — Easter, for example? Bad idea.

Buying a faux rabbit at the spur of the moment — Easter, for example? Excellent idea.

It’s part of the reason I love spring. Suddenly, every grocery store, clothing shop and retail outlet goes bunny-happy. Stuffed bunnies. Little wind-up bunnies. Bunnies made wholly of marshmallow and coated with crushed sugar. (Those may be my favorite.) It’s a veritable explosion of cuteness.

No feeding required.

* Reading rabbit statue, T.J. Maxx, $19.99

Earth-colored statue features a Peter Rabbit-like figure reading in a rocking chair with — I kid you not — bunny slippers at his feet. Set it on a large shelf or flank the fireplace for understated Easter decor. Or drape it in green Cellophane grass and plastic pastel eggs for a not-so-understated look.  

* Cotton the Rabbit Animal Pillowz, T.J. Maxx, $12.99

White, cushy pillow with big ears and buck teeth. Comfortable and cute. When was the last time you could say that about your pillow?

* “The Runaway Bunny” board book by Margaret Wise Brown, T.J. Maxx, $5.99

Classic children’s book about a young bunny and his loving mother. Sure to lull any little one to sleep. Maybe you want a few copies.  

* Bunny Peeps, Jo-Ann Fabric and Crafts, $1.69

I don’t know whether these yellow, bunny-shaped marshmallow Peeps are as good as the traditional chick-shaped marshmallow Peeps. I may need to compare them. A lot.

* Holiday Inspirations blinky rings, Jo-Ann Fabric and Crafts, $2.99/2 pack

Jo-Ann is offering 40 percent off Holiday Inspirations Easter items through Saturday. It’s a good sale with some interesting items. These rings, for example, if you’ve ever wanted to wear a blinky-light rabbit face on your finger … and, really, who hasn’t?

* Wilton Cookie Cutter set, Jo-Ann Fabric and Crafts, $5.99

Set includes egg-, butterfly-, flower- and rabbit-shaped cookie cutters. The bunny’s single floppy ear makes its cookies almost too cute to eat. Almost.

* Wilton Bunny Hutch, Craft-Mania, $16.49

Picture a gingerbread house, but with bunnies. The cynical part of me thinks the company re-purposed a Christmas decoration for Easter. The non-cynical part of me just thinks, “Mmm.”

* Ganz stuffed bunny in a carrot car, Craft-Mania, $4

Pull the string and this little bunny “drives” his carrot across the floor. Good way to freak out your cat or dog. 

Best find: Holiday Inspirations wind-up bunny, Jo-Ann Fabric and Crafts, $2.39

White puffball with a tiny pink nose and little pink ears, and it hops when you wind it up. Look up “adorable” in the dictionary and this is what you’ll see.

Think twice: “Chocolate” bunny statuette, T.J. Maxx, $4.99

Carved, dark brown statuette of a standing rabbit toting a basket full of Easter eggs. It looks exactly like a chocolate bunny. Exactly. I guarantee your 3-year-old would try to eat it. Heck, I guarantee you would try to eat this in a couple of months when you stumble downstairs in search of a midnight snack and happen to spot it on a shelf. “We have Easter chocolate left?” you will murmur in amazement. “We have Easter chocolate left!” Then, splinters in your mouth. Cruel, cruel world. A bunny should never look like chocolate if it isn’t, in fact, chocolate. There should be a law. In the meantime, grab some Peeps and settle down with a copy of “The Runaway Bunny.” You’ll be much hoppier.

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who would never be freaked out by a rabbit- driven carrot, no sirree) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.