In The Book of Henry (2017), Henry says, “Violence isn’t the worst thing in the world.” Susan Carpenter responds: “What is then?” Henry: “Apathy.” The Book of Henry is a story about a young boy who has cancer and, in his way of looking at life, looks to inspire those around him. He especially wants to help the young girl next door whom her stepfather is abusing.

He says apathy is worse than violence when he observes his mother not helping someone who needs help. He asks her why she didn’t help, and Susan says she doesn’t want to get involved. The movie has numerous scenes that allow viewers to think deeper about their connection to the world and its inhabitants.

But this isn’t a movie review. With the passing of Memorial Day, it’s a work of thought and reflection, a day when we remember those who have helped others and died in the process or later. What causes some of us to step up and others to shrug and go on their way, or perhaps, not even notice someone else needs a helping hand? Why are far too many apathetic to the plight of others?

I don’t have a magical answer, as I’m sure most people realize there is no perfect answer. Yet, a helpful skill to thwart non-medical apathy is knowing our truth. As part of our mental wealth, this is an exciting step in our journey forward. Knowing our truth permits us to do things when we are ready, and the better we know ourselves, the more likely we are to include doing for others because we have developed that strength.

Knowing our truth means feeling comfortable being seen, heard, and understood. As did Henry in the movie, we are apt to risk using our voices. He was fearless in having hard conversations. Most of us must experience the urgency, anxiety, and overwhelmingness of knowing our truth before fully stepping into it.

Letting ourselves take small steps allows us to move through the process. What empowers us to do this is that we understand that we don’t have to if we don’t want to. That understanding makes us feel safe.

Find small ways to be seen but be able to retreat if necessary. Research, phone a friend, or take a life coaching class. If we aren’t as successful the first time, we try again another time. Like Maine mud season, when the car gets stuck, we must rock it back and forth until we get out of the mucky mess, sometimes with help.

Life is messy, like a car stuck in the mud.  We often need help, and unlike what culture teaches us about constantly moving, we need to pause, understand the emotions that influence our apathy, and then move forward.

Apathy exists when we aren’t prepared. We can be prepared. Even if it’s a subconscious knowing who we are and what we stand for, it is the first step to overcoming apathy.