“What a heavy burden is a name that has become too famous.” — Voltaire 

They had to do it! Oscar Mayer had to go and change the name of its beloved Weinermobile! It’s now called — ready for this— the Frankmobile! No kidding! (Too many exclamation points? That’s the point — my outrage is great. OK, it’s actually fairly mild — like the taste of those all-beef franks they’re pushing — but you get the idea.)

But, dang it, I am miffed enough to pick up my little laptop and take a good hard look at some companies that have gone and changed the name of one of their products or maybe even the name of their whole darned company.

And what goes better with an all-beef frank than an ice-cold bottle of Brad’s Drink? Don’t feel bad if you’re not familiar with this particular brand of pop, since the brand’s founder, a pharmacist named Caleb Bradham, changed its name back in 1898. He claimed the drink helped to soothe dyspepsia (indigestion), so he changed its name to Pepsi Cola.

After more than 60 years, playing card manufacturer Marufuku Company changed its name to Nintendo Playing Card Company in 1951. A dozen years later, when the company began making games along with playing cards, it shortened its name to Nintendo.

Since the name of their sandwich shop, Pete’s Submarines, sounded too much like “pizza submarines,” store owners Fred DeLuca and Doctor Peter Buck initially changed the name of the place to Doctor’s Associates before soon landing on the name Subway in 1968.

Japanese running shoe importer Phil Knight called his operation Blue Ribbon Sports — until relations with the Asian company soured that is. After developing his own running shoe, Knight and co-owner Bill Bowerman named their Beaverton, Oregon, company after the Greek goddess of victory, Nike, in 1971.

If Pepsi can change, so can Coke, right? At least that’s what the folks at the company’s Atlanta headquarters thought when they introduced New! Coke in 1985. The new drink lasted for just 79 days before the company surrendered to the demands of its customers and brought back the original beverage as Coca Cola Classic. New! Coke was rebranded as Coke II, and eventually disappeared.

As for the Frankmobile thing, perhaps it is a big hoax that those hotdog honchos are perpetrating on us unsuspecting consumers. You know, like the time in 2018 when IHOP (International House of Pancakes) changed its name to IHOb (International House of Burgers — I guess the lowercase b was supposed to be an upside down P).

We all know how it turned out. It was quickly revealed that the whole thing was a “joke rebrand” conceived to get us to pay attention to the pancake restaurant’s new line of burgers. So you’re telling me that now I have to choose between the two?

Jim Witherell of Lewiston is a writer and lover of words whose work includes “L.L. Bean: The Man and His Company” and “Ed Muskie: Made in Maine.” He can be reached at jlwitherell19@gmail.com.