Talk of the Town Ernie Anderson

Make sure to bruise the olive oil
Whenever I come back from a vacation, I tend to forget what kind of things we discuss in this column space. I’m sure it’s all very cerebral. Maybe going forward we could make it a cooking column? Because I have a new recipe for a real nice bruschetta to share.

Lip smacking goodness
OK, so I didn’t really know what bruschetta is. But after a quick web search, I see that it entails bread, tomato chunks, garlic and Parmesan cheese. Frankly, that doesn’t sound very hard to me, so I’m in. I just need to know how long to zap it in the microwave and whether spray cheese is a suitable substitute for Parmesan.

Sleazy rider
Be warned, fellows, that the big Suzuki DR650 who goes by the name of El Mechon is officially out of the basement now so you can expect me to come tearing through your backyard any day now. Please be sure to relocate your clothesline accordingly. You don’t want me wearing your underthings on my head like last year. Or do you?

And speaking of under things . . .
The weather is pretty erratic this time of year for riding motorcycles. Do I wear shorts? Or long johns? I’ve eliminated this perennial struggle by wearing shorts over my long johns. It’s not only comfortable but stylish. I predict this look is going to catch on and all the kids will be sporting it.

Your bacon is out to kill you
OK, since the cooking column isn’t going to work out (inasmuch as I’m already bored with it) I figured I ought to scan the news headlines to see what’s what. Ooh, here’s a headline: “Canadian Super Pigs Threaten to Invade U.S.” Apparently this new breed of marauding porcine is larger, hairier, smarter and “boast quick and fruitful reproductive qualities.” I’ll give you some time to enjoy the mental images. Aren’t you glad I’m back?

S’no fair
I can’t help but notice that while I still have a ton of snow in my backyard, my neighbor has none. There’s not a single flake over there. I think this is further proof of my long-held theory that winter is out to get me personally.