Talk of the Town Ernie Anderson

Pole position
Some quick-witted, clear-thinking, great-idea-having reader suggested to me the other day that if the new Sun Journal offices happen to be on the upper floors, then a special firefighter’s pole should be installed for me specifically so I can get to street level in a split second when news is breaking. I like this idea so much, I want it to be my mistress. The idea, not the pole itself. I kind of doubt the SJ owners will go for it, though. I mean, they never even responded when I told them how much I could use my own personal helicopter.

More on my big pole idea
You know, if the paper won’t have a pole installed for me, maybe I could DIY that sucker. How hard can it be to install a pole from one floor to the other? I’m thinking a nail gun, a couple of boards, maybe some hot melt glue . . . By gory, I’ve got myself a plan. Off to the pole store I go!

My cold half
Have I told you people about my new Carhartt coat? No? Sorry to have kept you in suspense so long. Wind and rain resistant, this sucker is, and so warm with down filling and some other stuff that it’s considered among the warmest in the whole Carhartt catalog. How do you like me now? Anyhoo, the other day I wore it when I took my motorcycle out for a ride and I tell you, I didn’t feel even the slightest chill on my upper body. Felt it on my lower, though. I was so excited about wearing the new coat out, I forgot to put on pants.

The Walmart pole . . .
. . . is back! With a car-eating vengeance! More photos have emerged over the past week of cars and trucks succumbing to the unholy wrath of the pole. A pretty good video has emerged, too. It’s now being suggested — and somewhat seriously — that kids out to take their BMV driving tests ought to be required to weave through the Walmart parking lot a couple times. If you can get in and out of the lot without slamming into a pole, you pass. Of course, if you hit the pole, you not only fail the test but you become a local laughing stock for a week or so. Roll the dice, kid. Do you feel lucky?

Down goes LaFlamme!

You should have seen the wipe-out I took in my back yard the other day when I assumed the ground was frozen when it was in fact muddy and slick. Coffee went flying, hat went flying, pieces of me went flying to never be seen again. It was a classic and my first response to the spill was exactly what you’d expect: I frantically looked around to make sure no one had seen it.