I recently realized that while other parts of our great nation can offer up a few variations of the English language (such as “aloha” in Hawaii or “y’all” down South), Maine seems to stand alone with enough unique words to almost qualify as having another language altogether.

For instance, many of our more unusual terms and expressions come from the relatively simple task of getting from place to place – or giving directions to others (usually those “flatlanders” who visit our fair state “from away”).

When someone from out of state asks you what “The County” is, explain to them that it’s Aroostook County up north. Then the fun begins. Having established your credibility, you can pretend to think for a moment before informing them that “You can’t get they-ah from he-ah.”

Next, you quickly assure them that Madawaska is really “not fah,” in fact it’s just “up the road a piece.” It’s at this point that you tell them “You can’t miss it,” which, as Maine humorist John McDonald points out, actually means, “Ain’t no way in hell you’re going to find it, Chummy.”

Or maybe they’re looking for someplace Down East (as the Rockport-based magazine spells it, while the Maine Tourism Association spells it as the compound word “DownEast” on its visitmaine.com website). On their way to the region, which can apply to Maine and even New England, but in Maine is often considered Hancock and Washington counties, our visitors might want to stop in Bah Hahbah (which is named for the sandbar that connects the mainland to Bar Island at low tide) for a nice lobstah dinnah.

Once arriving Downeast (which is yet another acceptable spelling of the region), our travelers can go to Lubec and visit America’s easternmost place, West Quoddy Head. (It must have been somebody’s idea of Maine humor to make sure that the name of the easternmost point in the United States included the word “west.”)

If our friends from away are looking for some shopping deals, they could check out our myriad antique shops or the latest issue of Uncle Henry’s Weekly Swap or Sell It Guide. For a more organized shopping experience, they might head to the nearest Renys (“a Maine advenchah!”), which is always spelled without an apostrophe.

Or they could visit the nearest Marden’s (whose apostrophe on the front of their Lewiston store is three feet tall) for some “wicked good” deals without even having to dickah over the price. On the other hand, they can always find the “finest kind” of merchandise at “Bean’s,” as we locals call the LL Bean flagship store in Freeport.

And speaking of beans, maybe our visitors are looking for a bean suppah with a couple “red snapper” hot dogs (which are made in Bangor by W.A Bean & Sons – it seems like Vacationland is full of beans) at the properly punctuated Moody’s Diner in Waldoboro. Or they might be wanting a bowl of hearty chowdah (which should be made only in months that have an “r” in them, dontcha know).

I personally got a taste of our exclusive brand of language a while back when I went to help out my old friend Claus who’d recently moved from Germany to a place down-east and had been working on improving his English there. “Muckle on to that chain,” he told me as we stood in the dooryard, “and yahd that pooched engine outta heah. It’s from the stove-up cah that crashed into the puckabrush.”

After looking twice to make sure it was Claus, I began pulling. “Chout for that pothole, ya dubbah,” Claus warned me, “or you’re gonna take a diggah.” But I tripped anyway, going ass over teakettle, landing right on my face. I was furious and wanted to swear a blue streak, but had to limit my cursing to words like “jeezum crowbah” and “friggit” (not the three-masted warship) since it was Sunday and we were within earshot of the congregation.

And as I sat there, all cross-threaded on the ground, I also wondered just which neighbah was responsible for teaching Claus such wicked awesome “English.”

Jim Witherell of Lewiston is a writer and lover of words whose work includes “L.L. Bean: The Man and His Company” and “Ed Muskie: Made in Maine.” He can be reached at jlwitherell19@gmail.com.