Talk of the Town Ernie Anderson

Roll OH! Drome.
How many times do you reckon I missed spelled “Rollodrome” as I was writing a weekend piece about the place? If you guessed one zillion, you are correct. No matter how many times I corrected myself, my fingers just wanted to spell it “Rollerdrome,” and so that’s the way it initially appeared all throughout the story. I tell you, there ought to be a special chair in heaven for the dude who invented the “find and replace” function. I think his name was Arthur W. Findenreplaze.

Exciting news
Well, I done it. I went out and bought a new Carhartt winter coat to replace my older Carhartt coat that looks like it’s been chewed by rats. The new one is the Montana model. It’s twice as warm as the old one, but it also has a less rugged exterior because it’s rainproof. This means that when you ask me to come help stack some cinder blocks at your compound, I’m going to decline because I don’t want to tear the new coat. Yes, THIS is the reason I won’t come help you stack those blocks.

I’m yuuuuuge
The other cool thing about my new coat is that when I put it on, it looks like I’m weighing in at roughly 350 pounds of solid muscle. With that Carhartt on, I could go up to the biggest guy in the bar and flick him on the end of the nose. He’d take a look at me and go: “Whoa, fella! I don’t want any trouble…” Of course, if he happens to glance down at my scrawny lower half, I’m toast.

Target date
Is Auburn getting a Target store or not? I keep seeing stories CLAIMING that it is, but it’s always like: “Oh, yes. The new Target will have this. It will have that. Oh, it’s going to be a graaaaand ol’ place!” And yet I remain skeptical. I mean sure, the big red balls have been installed where Kmart used to sit, but that could be something else entirely. Until I’m physically inside the store asking a flustered clerk, “everything is a dollar here, right?” I don’t believe any of it.

By the way
It has come to my attention that the cooler folks pronounce “Target” as though it were some exotic French boutique. The problem is, it’s really hard to spell that way. “Tarjhay?” “Tarzhay?” Fun as enfer to say, not so much to write. If I knew how, I’d just put one of those French accent symbol thingies over the word, but who’s got time to learn THAT kind of technology.