Bog Hoot
Met a guy from Mechanic Falls the other day who didn’t even know that the town was once called Bog Hoot, and still is in some circles. Needless to say, that person is dead to me now. I mean, that’s just straight ignorance, dawg. It’s like a man not knowing his wife’s maiden name or something.

Full disclosure
I’ve forgotten my wife’s maiden name. Was it Smith? Fernandez? Something with a Q in it, anyway. Never you mind. I may not know much, but I know Bog Hoot.

9 lives . . . and dropping fast
I’ll let you folks in on a handy little secret that might save you some grief on the streets. Right now, in the rough and tumble world of Delectable Stew lickable cat treats, chicken and tuna flavor is hot. Red hot. Oh, we’ve tried to seduce our cats away to the more benign and less addictive tuna and shrimp varieties, but no. Your street level cat has demanded chicken and tuna and he or she will mess you up if you come home with that whitefish junk. You’d have better luck cutting cocaine with baking soda and trying to sell it to a seasoned coke head than you would trying to fool one of these street-wise cats. The result is that competition for chicken and tuna lickable treats at the stores is fierce. Potentially deadly. The trick is to get to the stores well before the older gals with the really, really mean cats get there because otherwise, you’re in for some eye-gouging and knees to the groin. Ask me how I know.

I swear…
I only meant to write one line on that whole cat food thing. It got away from me.

The tree of liberty
Saw that Statue of Liberty guy the other day dancing around to advertise one tax firm or another. Tell me again how we associate liberty with the income tax?

Elon buys world
Enough with the Elon Musk chatter already. If you’re going to try and convince me some guy who flies around in spaceships is going to save us, I’m going to go ahead and assume it’s Captain James T. Kirk, not this fool.

Party like it’s 1883
There’s been lots of talk about the TV series “Yellowstone” lately and by gorry, it IS a darn fun show. There’s plenty of wranglin’ and shootin’ and cussin’ and spittin’ and you just can’t go wrong with that. But after watching the prequel, a short series titled “1883,” I’m hear to tell you that there is just no comparison between these shows. “Yellowstone” is fun and well made. “1883,” on the other hand, is something REALLY special. Something unforgettable. Think of “Little House on the Prairie” with more violence, more realism and a lead actress who somehow manages to outshine the likes of Sam Elliot, Tom Hanks, Billy Bob Thornton and about a hundred other quality actors. “1883” is a show that will stick with you long after you’re done watching and that, to me, is the mark of good entertainment. I’m 70 percent more manly just having watched this series. I also spit a lot more. You will too!