DEAR ABBY: Am I wrong not to want to attend a baby shower because my significant other’s daughter doesn’t give me the time of day? I have been with her father for 10 years now, and not once has this girl ever asked me to go shopping, have lunch or anything. I have turned the other cheek when it came to family functions on my man’s side of the family, but she refuses to participate in anything I have. What to do? — SHOWER SHOULD OR SHOULDN’T

DEAR S.S.O.S.: In all this time, have you ever asked his daughter to go shopping with YOU, have lunch or anything else? Did you receive an invitation to that shower? If you did, it provides a glimmer of hope that you can have some kind of relationship. If you don’t go, the ice will grow thicker, and it would be a mistake to let that happen.

Jeanne Phillips

DEAR ABBY: I have an etiquette question. I’m planning an evening family celebration for our company. The question of dress code has been asked multiple times. I find it perplexing that people are asking. Unless otherwise specified — i.e. black tie, semiformal, business casual or jacket required — shouldn’t it be assumed that pretty much anything goes?

For this party, I expect people to show up in anything from cut-off shorts to cocktail dresses. I didn’t think a dress code was a detail that needed addressing. Am I wrong? — NO PAJAMAS, PLEASE

DEAR NO PAJAMAS, PLEASE: You are being asked because there is confusion. Clearly it IS a detail that needs addressing, and as a considerate host, you should clarify what you expect your guests to wear.

DEAR ABBY: Widowed after 65 years of a superb marriage, it was my difficult task to begin clearing our closet of my wife’s vast array of clothing and shoes. After a few trips to thrift stores, the next task was what to do with her jewelry. I came across a small black felt bag neatly tied with a small bow. Inside were her wedding band and diamond engagement ring. I set them aside.

On the date of our next anniversary, I asked a jeweler to combine my band with her rings. It took a month to complete, and some gold was added. The result was a magnificent piece with the small, but many-faceted stone inset. It cost me nearly $1,000, but I haven’t regretted it for one moment. My advice to others: Consider it. Don’t hesitate. (I’m twisting the ring as I write this.) — RING OF TRUTH IN TEXAS

DEAR RING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your dearly beloved wife. How fortunate you were to have her for 65 years. I’m pleased that wearing the combined symbols of your commitment to each other brings you comfort and pleasure. Thank you for suggesting this to my readers.

TO MY READERS: I wish you all a very happy Easter. — LOVE, ABBY

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)