DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for 36 years and have five adult children. We have a loving, caring and mutually supportive relationship.

We recently had dinner at a restaurant, and she became very flirty and familiar with our male server, who was one-third her age and a complete stranger. She complimented him on his handsome looks, his trim waistline and his smooth and reassuring speaking style. I thought she was out of line, and on the ride home, I told her so. She became defensive and angry and said she was only kidding around with him. What’s the best way to avoid this type of dust-up in the future? — JIM IN MARYLAND

DEAR JIM: What your wife did was inappropriate. Could she have had one pre-meal cocktail too many? Because her behavior made you uncomfortable, she owes you an apology. And if this sort of thing happens again, perhaps you should request a female server if possible.

DEAR ABBY: I’m a sophomore college student who has finally settled in with a group of friends I love and really connect with. However, one girl in our group throws full-on temper tantrums where she cries, storms off or exerts negative energy to the point that it ruins the night for the rest of us. These fits of temper seem to be caused by anything and everything, and have reached a point where my friends and I feel anxious being around her. What do we do? And how do we deal with someone who cries at the tiniest of perceived “slights”? — EXHAUSTED IN COLLEGE

DEAR EXHAUSTED: The behavior you have described isn’t normal. The girl appears to be extremely fragile emotionally. Whoever is closest to her should point out to her privately that all of you are concerned that her outbursts may be a sign of depression, and suggest she talk to someone at the student health center about them.

DEAR ABBY: A dear friend and her husband were at a Broadway theater production. Because of a spinal cord injury, she uses either a walker or wheelchair. During intermission, when she went into the ladies room, the line was quite long. Not one woman offered to let her move ahead. What’s the protocol? I thought each person in there should have deferred to her.

Advertisement

I had tickets the same night, and when I saw her in line I walked up and asked her if I could intervene to move her in faster, but she said she didn’t want to bother anyone. I stayed with her and didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to embarrass her. I would appreciate your view on this. — TRYING TO HELP

DEAR TRYING TO HELP: My view is that someone with an obvious disability should be offered the next available stall, and if the person uses a walker or a wheelchair, the handicap stall should be offered to her.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable — and most frequently requested — poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

Jeanne Phillips

Comments are no longer available on this story

filed under: