No, really. They won. They won in the most unlikely, unprecedented, unbelievable fashion. And no, this column, this newspaper, isn’t left over from Super Bowl XLIX.

If you didn’t see it, if you went to bed with visions of Super Bowl XX in your head, I can’t possibly describe it to you. Let’s just say you only missed the most incredible sports story ever told, probably. At least four nights in October, 2004, boiled down into 30 minutes of football.

Sorry. I’m really, really sorry. 

If you did see it, though, you are physically, mentally, emotionally and probably fiscally exhausted after buying everyone within earshot of you a drink into the wee hours. And thank you for the shot of whiskey and cigar, by the way. They hit the spot.

Retired Boston Globe columnist Bob Ryan frequently states that he feels sorry for the non-sports fan. Sunday, February 5, 2017, will forever give him and those of us who agree with him an open-and-shut case, even if Meryl Streep puts on an Oscar-winning closing argument for the other side.

This was art.

But you couldn’t make a movie about this game, about Tom Brady, about the Patriots defense redeeming itself in the second half, and not have it laughed off the screen. You couldn’t put it in a novel, a poem, even a video game.

The impossible happened, and Tom Brady was at the center of it. Many indomitable athletes pass through sports, and no one has ever been more stubborn. Counted out again Sunday night, he wouldn’t relent, and his team wouldn’t, either, perhaps because of him. 

Brady went from under siege to under complete control of his surroundings in the blink of an eye. This game will require multiple viewings to pick out the exact moment, but I can’t wait to try. Brady willed the Super Bowl into overtime for the first time ever, that much is known.

Counted out by Americans and Hillary Clinton’s pollsters, the New England Patriots pulled off a comeback for the ages. Down 28-3 in the third quarter, on the verge of being embarrassed, the Patriots pulled off the greatest comeback of all time, forced overtime and marched down the field on a spent defense.

Let’s put it this way — a lot of people wanted to run Josh McDaniels out of New England on a rail at halftime. Tom Brady earned him, and the offensive line that wasn’t keeping him upright, another ring. They owe him more than he could ever repay them in Uggs.

Sports wouldn’t be nearly as great without a great antagonist, and the Atlanta Falcons were that, even though it’s impossible to hate them. Patriots fans might even feel a tinge of sadness for them, because they were every bit as good as they were billed. And if they can somehow recover from such a crushing loss, they will deserve even more respect.

As valiant as their effort, Super Bowl LI wasn’t their night. It was the New England Patriots’ night. It was their fifth such night, in fact.

So now not only have we seen five Super Bowl titles, we’ve seen the greatest Super Bowl, maybe the greatest game of them all.

Not only have we seen the greatest quarterback, we’ve seen him create the greatest story of resilience and revenge (writing this as boos rain down on Goodell) ever told outside of your favorite holy scripture/Morgan Freeman movie.

Not only do we root for the greatest NFL dynasty ever, we have the ultimate answer to all of the doubters. 

We can say: “I still don’t believe it, either.”

Staff writer Randy Whitehouse can be reached at rwhitehouse@sunjournal.com.