There are things we love. Things we looooove. 

And things we appreciate with a cocked eyebrow and a noncommittal “hmm.”

Like decorative rust. And Taylor Swift.

Granted, when it comes to the former, it’s artistically draped rust, placed just so on a set of faux-distressed salt-and-pepper shakers or a created-last-week-to-look-ancient birdhouse. But still. In everyday life, we actively work to avoid rusty things. (It only took the one tetanus shot.) So do we really want to buy them?

Hmm.

If they’re from Willow Tree Primitives, it turns out that yes, yes we do.

The recently relocated (from Main Street to 1125 Lisbon St. in Lewiston) shop is filled with country Americana: lots of distressed wood, scratchy wool, artistically rusted knickknacks and dolls that look like Raggedy Ann’s cousin. It’s one of several similar stores in the greater L-A area (who knew primitives were the next great thing in home decor?), but we loved Willow Tree’s sprawling space, its light, happy vibe and comprehensive inventory of … stuff. 

Like, need some fake-but-looks-pretty-real garland? There’s a whole room.

With the rapid approach of both Memorial Day and the Fourth of July — Americana-worthy days if ever there were any — it’s a great time to check out the stars, stripes and homey accents.

Come for the faux garland, stay for the lingering pancake smell.

We’re not sure, but that may apply to Taylor Swift as well.

* Birdhouse on a stick, $16.99

Slightly rust-worn, faux-distressed birdhouse on a sick. Instructions for set-up: stab the stick into the ground, walk away and … nope, that’s pretty much it. Actually, you don’t even have to walk away. Play Snow White and let the birds gently alight on your shoulders. Just make sure they haven’t eaten recently.  

* Star hooks, $6.99

Single coat hooks with red or black star-shaped metal back. For all coats except Redcoats.     

* Faux candles, $25.99

Large faux pillar candles with hollow center and decorative outside. For Memorial Day, choose the one decorated with a flag and the caption “Old Glory” or any one of several scrawled with poems/sayings about remembering loved ones. A thoughtful way to say “we remember” next weekend without, you know, barbecued hot dogs and hamburgers.

* Crossroads’ buttered maple syrup-scented room spray, 6 oz., $8.99

Forget linen (which they also have, but so does everyone else), and mosey right over to the only room spray scent you’ll ever need. But where would I spray such a scent, you ask? Answer: There is no room that should not smell like syrup.

Pair with:

* Stonewall Kitchen maple syrup, 8.5 oz., $16.99

Actual maple syrup, for eating. Because the smell can only last so long before you need to have pancakes. 

* Tobacco cloth, 72 inches by 38 inches, $31.99

Light, gauzy and tea- (or maybe actually tobacco?) stained cloth with red or blue stars. The package says it’s for window treatments, jar tops and the like. For when your jars and curtains need to match. Which we’re pretty sure Martha Stewart would say is all the time.

* Four glass, cork-topped kitchen jars in a chicken-wire rack, $20.99

A quick way to country up your condiments this summer. Ketchup. Mustard. Relish, maybe. And vinegar? Horseradish? Hot sauce? Suddenly it feels like a delicious Rorschach test. Given four kitchen jars, what do YOU see in them?

* Wool, $6.99/one-quarter yard to $24.99/yard

In so many patterns, plaids and stoic-looking blues and greens. Outside of the odd button, Bag Lady hasn’t sewn anything since a dog/bear thing in home ec class decades ago. Ditto for Shopping Siren. (It bonds us! Along with the shared meh for T-Swift.) We’re not the customers this wool is looking for, but we can appreciate and admire those who are.

* Red, white and blue mini lights, $43.99

String of Christmas-tree-like lights with plastic red, white and blue tips that lend a rustic, melted-wax-candle look. Drape across your deck, around your kitchen or over your desk at work and you’ll be both patriotic and well-lit. In a different way than Uncle Bob after too many beers at the family Fourth of July party.

Best find: Fake plants, $2.99 to $17.99

From little sprigs to large garland, all very realistic. Also, can we just say we’re impressed to find an entire room dedicated to faux greenery? Next time we need a plant the Dobermans can’t kill, we’re going here. Which is to say, we’ll be here a lot. 

Think twice: About celebrating Memorial Day and the Fourth of July without a splash of old American charm.

If you want new American charm, there’s always Taylor Swift.

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who are so over black flies, OVER THEM, they say) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.