LEWISTON — Kathleen and Lionel Koss, among the couples honored during Saturday’s “Silver and Gold” Mass, have been married for 61 years.

“Sixty-two years in December,” she said, standing near a black and white wedding photo hanging in their living room.

They have six children, 12 grandchildren and 12 great-grandchildren. “She sends them all cards,” Lionel said of “Kay.”

They met when they were students at Lewiston High School. She was a sophomore, he a junior.

After he graduated in 1946, he joined the U.S. Army and was sent to Germany. She graduated in 1948 and went to work for Sears.

“I waited for him for seven years,” she said. He was her only boyfriend. There was another fellow who traveled from the country to meet her, she said, but there was no chemistry. “I decided I was going to wait for (Lionel.)”

She said Lionel was “a sensible person. There was something nice about him. He was kind. He treated me like a lady. He was what I was looking for.”

He said he liked Kathleen’s hair, the fact that she was good-looking. “I liked her personality,” he said. In those days, she was quiet. “She’s not quiet no more!” he said with a laugh.

After sending each other airmail letters for years, he came home on leave one November. They married the day after Christmas in St. Joseph’s Church, which was decorated with poinsettias and evergreen. She was 23; he was 25.

The long courtship “worked for us,” he said. After a reception at the Elm Hotel in Auburn, they took a train to honeymoon in New York, celebrating New Year’s Eve at Times Square.

From that point, she went with him almost everywhere he was stationed until he retired from the Army in 1974. One exception was Vietnam. Their children were born in Indianapolis, France, Lewiston and Milwaukee.

Being an Army wife wasn’t hard, she said. “It’s all what you make it. It was an enjoyable life.” During the Vietnam War she lived near her sister. She had had six children in eight years. “The children were good, easy to take care of,” she said. “It was nice.”

One important way to keep a happy marriage, the couple said, is to budget and spend money carefully.

“I don’t know why people have to spend so much money, $2,000 on a wedding dress,” she said. “I mean, put it into something else. If you plan to buy a house, put it into that.”

“If we didn’t need it, we didn’t buy it,” he agreed. “We didn’t buy anything on time unless we really needed it.” Too many people get a credit card and “run it up. People forget they have to pay for it.”

These days, they winter in Florida near two sons, and live the rest of the year in Lewiston near three daughters.

They laugh together easily.

Recently, after she was hospitalized with health issues, he took over with the housework and nursed her. He did a good job, she said. “Now I’m a good housewife; she can rent me out,” Lionel said with a twinkle in his eye.

One of her favorite activities is gambling. On a recent day she was heading out to the Oxford Casino.

“I think if she was lying sick in bed and you said, ‘Casino!,’ she’d say: ‘I’m ready!’” he said as they both laughed.

Another important good-marriage behavior, they said, is being happy. They don’t set expectations too high. It’s important to compromise. “Don’t always have it your way,” he said.

When they have arguments, “we get them settled real quickly,” she said. “We didn’t keep it going.” Life’s too short, she said, to stay mad or hold grudges.

“As you get older, it’s really short.”

bwashuk@sunjournal.com

LEWISTON — Ray and Joline Chaloux, who will celebrate their 25th anniversary Tuesday, were among 42 couples honored Saturday by Catholic Bishop Robert Deeley at a “Silver and Gold” Mass at the Holy Family Church.

Five couples celebrated marriages that have spanned 60 or more years; two couples celebrated five years of marriage; and dozens more, a variety of years in between.

In his sermon, Bishop Deeley said marriage is about “self-giving. Each spouse seeks to serve the other so that what they create is more than either of them apart.”

The parents of two, Joline Chaloux, 47, is a clerk at Lewiston District Court. Ray Chaloux, 49, works in transportation for the Sun Journal.

Before she met him some 30 years ago, she watched him walk by her home on his way to work at Supreme Slipper. He always carried a boom box.

“I would hear him coming,” she said. “I did think he was cute. He had this jean jacket with the Rolling Stones tongue.”

He noticed her, too. She was good-looking, he said. “There was just something about her.”

Both Lewiston High School students, it turned out she ate lunch at the same table as his friend. His friend got her name for him.

The intelligence bolstered his confidence. One day walking by, he stopped and said: “’Hi! Today’s my birthday!’” Joline recalled with a smile. She wished him happy birthday. They started talking. One night walking her home from the Franco Festival, he asked her out. She was 14; he was 17.

“He was my one and only boyfriend,” Joline said. Her mother said she was too young; Joline had to break up with him. “I cried all night.” Her mother relented.

They dated for five years before marrying at St. Mary’s Church on June 30, 1990.

“The day we picked for our wedding is the same anniversary for both sets of our parents,” she said. For years, the couples celebrated their anniversaries together, until their fathers died. She lost hers in 2002. He lost his in January.

“We didn’t see it coming,” she said. “It turned the family on its head.” Losing a parent is tough, they said. You have to be there for each other. “You have to stay positive,” he said.

Another challenging time was after the birth of their first child.

“When Brandon was born we bought our first property,” he said. “Right after, I lost my job. I couldn’t believe it happened. We were scared. We didn’t have much. I said I’ve got to find work.”

A friend recommended they get public assistance, food stamps. “I said, ‘No way,’” he said. “I declined all of that. We ate a lot of pasta, but we got through it.” He found work in two weeks.

What makes a good marriage, they said, is teamwork. “Trust in your partner,” she said. “Have a sense of humor.”

“The funny thing is we’re actually different,” he said. “We don’t like the same things. We don’t like the same TV shows. I like ‘History Channel’ stuff. She loves to read. I hate to read. She likes seafood. I hate it. She likes coffee. I hate it.”

“I like wine. He likes beer,” she said. “It’s a lot of give.”

To celebrate their silver anniversary, they plan a trip this summer in their RV. Their dream trip someday is to go to Italy. Meanwhile, they’re watching their sons’ success with pride.

“Brandon just did a TV commercial for Lee Auto Mall,” he said. “He thinks it’s corny, but we like it,” she said. That son works for a bank, is involved in Community Little Theatre and has a “sweetheart” for a girlfriend.

Their younger son, Luke, is in college for veterinary medicine. For their 50th anniversary, they hope to be surrounded by grandchildren. “I’d love to see this family grow,” she said.

Celebrating their marriage in church is important, they said.

A Eucharistic minister, “I do feel like it’s God’s plan, that he put us together,” Joline said. “We’re so different. It’s no coincidence it’s lasted so long. It was meant to be.”

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