There are infinite reasons to turn your wheels west over the next week.

For simplicity’s sake, we’ll start with three.

1. A champion speed knitter/vintner.

2. Tony, Duke and Codfish.

3. ALL OF THE SHEEP IN MAINE. OK, we oversell. Maybe only half the sheep in Maine.

Surely, that’s enough to beat feet to the Oxford Hills. So, without further delay:

Woman sews socks, knocks them off

We had never heard of Fiber and Vine until co-owner Kim Hamlin won the title of fastest English-style knitter in Maine last month. She did it by knitting, on stage, in front of an audience, damn fast.

Our knit hats were already off to her. Then it got even better.

Fiber and Vine, in lovely downtown Norway, doesn’t sell only yarn. It also offers a selection of wine. 

Wine. And knitting. How has no one thought of this before? It’s the perfect companion to a cozy night at home.

Or, maybe, a cozy night with new friends. You’ve heard of open mic night? They have an open stitch night (Wednesdays 4 to 7 p.m.) and monthly free wine tastings (the first Friday of the month, 5 to 7 p.m.).

Are you also greeted warmly at the door by someone named Super Awesome? We’re willing to bet so.

Should you want to learn next to Maine’s fastest English-style knitter, a three-part sock class kicks off Sept. 29 (cost: $10/session).

In an alternative reality where we have time and a modicum of talent, we’d sew go.

Down East Dickering: The public mobbing

Bag Lady loves “Down East Dickering.” Loves it.

Shopping Siren, after watching two episodes, admitted she felt “embarrassed for the state.”

Bag Lady suspects Shopping Siren didn’t catch the ones with lots of Tony, Duke and Codfish.

The Bethel trio will be working and filming at a big flea market at the Oxford Plains Speedway on Saturday (note to speeding cars: watch out for ‘lil doggie Duke).

Bag Lady cannot imagine the crowds that will gather ’round our local TV heroes and try to sell them Aunt Sheryl’s antique wood splitter. (“It’s just a scratch, dude! Got to be worth at least 200 clams!”)

Should your retail speed be more online, the History Channel offers all sorts of show merchandise, including a trucker’s cap ($19.95), hoodie ($44.95) and, curiously, coasters ($14.95).

But no dog dishes or Tony-approved grooming sets. Your loss, History Channel. Your loss.

Fair! Fair! Fair!

The Fryeburg Fair starts soon. Should you doubt it, just consult the countdown clock on its website.

The fair promises fun, a midway and copious cows, chickens and sheep.

Feeling the need to get in on some non-livestock shopping on your way to the fair? Check out:

* Pawsibilities Thrift Shop, Norway

Located on 124 Waterford Road, the little shop sells new and gently used toys, books, tools and other items to help support Responsible Pet Care, a local no-kill animal shelter. Inventory changes, but one thing you can count on finding is Kit-Cat — a cat clock with a tail that wags out the seconds. Two sizes, lots of colors; yours for $34.99 to $49.99. Meow!

* Elms Puzzles, Harrison

Hand-cut custom wooden puzzles ranging from $190 (100 pieces) to $3,250 (1,000 pieces). Price too steep? Elms also offers a puzzle rental club for $50 to $180 per puzzle, plus an initial lifetime membership fee and shipping. We’re not sure if there’s a store, but there’s definitely a catalog. And a blog. Because if knitters get open stitch night, puzzlers should have a blog.  

* Bliss Bakery, Fryeburg

We know nothing about it except that Jeremy W. touted its chocolate raspberry mousse cake on Yelp. Also, the name rocks.

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who wonder if Duke is as nice as he seems on TV or if he’s getting a kind edit) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.