Bag Lady is hot.

Too hot this week to brave actual roads and actual traffic and actual retail clerks.

And who needs to with so much shopping fodder at my feet? Pressing stuff, like:

Paying $8,000 to have the guy from Guster who lives in Portland DJ your next party dressed as Chewbacca

This is a thing. For real. 

If you would prefer to spend $10,000 to jump out of a plane with Adam Gardner, $100 to “confess your sins to Adam” for 10 minutes over Skype or $400 to spend the day with the whole band on the Maine coast at Camp Guster, there’s that, too.

Or, buy their new album, signed, for $25.

That’s what’s known in retail as a wide variety of price points. And pretty flippin’ cool.

Invite me to that Chewy party, please.

Project Runway starts this week!

Yeah! Suddenly, there’s one less void in my TV-viewing-life. True story: I found a skirt by Michael Kors on the clearance rack of TJ Maxx last month (regular retail $79, TJ clearance $29.99) and was like, Michael Kors! I know him! Sort of. In the way anyone knows anyone on TV, which is to say very superficially, but, in this case, also admirably, without having to know if he eats ice cream directly from the carton* or leaves the toilet seat up.

Plus, it’s a lovely skirt.

In more local TVish news:

Give me an E!

After catching a TV commercial for The Sign Store & Flag Center in Auburn several times and each time thinking, no, surely, they don’t leave the “e” off the word “store” in their Web address do they? I’ve sussed out the answer.

They do.

It really is www.signstor.com, at which you’ll find signs, flagpoles and banners galore.

Appears www.signstore.com (“e” intact) is a California-based business specializing in, among other things, silly beer and golf signs.

So that’s where the “e” went. Silly.

Margaritaville

So Bag Lady’s sister-in-law once painted her home Margaritas restaurant colors. Greens, yellows, purples and reds, each sunnier than the next.

Who knew the owners of the former Getty station at the corner of Russell and Sabattus streets share her taste?

The store’s had a paint makeover and an external overhaul (all the gas pumps pulled out) that makes for a roomier parking lot. Blinking signs advertise glass pipes and “vapes,” which are e-cigarettes, which I had to learn via Google, which likely shows I’m not in their target audience.

It has added a literal bright spot to the busy strip.

* Bag Lady’s actual bad habit is eating ice cream directly out of the carton. It drives Mr. Bag Lady nuts, I know it drives him nuts and yet I still do it anyway. Maybe I need to pay that $100 to Skype it out with Adam Gardner.

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman Pinschers (who couldn’t pee without “e”) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at baglady@sunjournal.com.