This week, there were dilemmas.

Garden variety, but still, dilemmas.

Do I write about shopping for chocolate-covered bacon, Easter Peeps or what to wear to a pirate-themed burlesque show?

Amazing options, all. There were long minutes of agony. Just how to decide?

Then, it hit me like a fishnet-stockinged foot to the face: Who says I have to?

Life is to be savored, lived and alluringly bodiced.

And we’re off.

Behold: Bacon

Bag Lady only recently spied Porky Confection’s Chocolate-Covered Bacon ($2.49/slice) at her neighborhood market next to the usual counter pickles and fudge.

(Having never partaken in the obligatory sandwich-accessory pickle — because my palate does not extend to sour unpleasantness, thank you — counter pickles are a perennial mystery to me. Who in a ravenous fit would buy one of these? Apocalyptic desperation, sure. Tuesday afternoon nosh, no way.)

Now chocolate-covered bacon, on the other hand, I can get behind.

Porky Confection’s piggy mascot is adorable, and a quick Google search found the company is a start-up out of Wiscassett. The husband and wife team also appear to make Maple & Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies and other treats. So they’re basically culinary humanitarians.

I can’t get my hands on one of those cookies fast enough. Find the bacon and assorted offerings at retailers around the state and select festivals, according to Porky Confection’s Facebook page.

Peep-a-boo

The inspiration to shop for Easter Peeps and/or pirate lingerie came from a two-paragraph news release.

I know. You’re thinking, “That’s quite a news release.”

And it was. If you’re also thinking, “It must have been sent out by Department of Public Safety spokesman Stephen McCausland, the Natural Resources Council of Maine or the state’s congressional delegation because they account for most news releases,” you would be right (they do account for most news releases) but you’d also be wrong.

This one was sent out by the Stripwrecked burlesque troupe of Southern Maine.

There’s such a thing?

There is.

And they were writing to alert the paper to an upcoming performance the day before Easter called “Peep-Show” at the St. Lawrence Arts Center in Portland.

It will contain, to quote: “a variety of dance styles as well as vaudeville acts and … 11 sexy dancers.”

Bag Lady fully supports a good play on words, as well as anything pirate related. (See previous desire for a pirate-theme bathroom.)

So without further ado:

* Peeps! 3 oz., Hannaford, $1.39

In 10-packs of yellow, pink, blue, green, purple and orange.

The orange color didn’t look familiar, which led me back to Google to search out “new Peep flavor” which led me to the official Peeps website, where I learned in the span of five minutes:

– There exist 49 recipes for “Cookin’ with Peeps” that include PEEPsicles and PEEPSHI (think sushi, with Peeps. Naturally.)

– There are blue raspberry, sour watermelon, sweet lemonade and bubble gum Peep flavors exclusive to Walmart. (What?)

– Strawberry, vanilla and orange creme flavors are exclusive to Target. (Ditto?)

– And someone, somewhere has a job wearing a Peeps mascot costume. It’s a foamy, yellow, man-sized chick with yellow tights and a certain je ne sais quoi.

Which, if I think about it, sounds like the perfect thing to wear to that Stripwrecked review.

Peep you there.

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who put the pee in Peep) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at baglady@sunjournal.com.