Nothing says “Happy Father’s Day” like an open flame over which you char slabs of meat.

Unless, maybe, it’s a stripy tie.

But while dads might smile at stripy-tie gifts — might actually even wear stripy ties, proudly telling everyone they see that said red-blue-red beauty was a gift from their kid — what they really want is charred meat. And the ability to char meat. Preferably with a mixture of spicy rubs and smoky sauces and manly metal grilling tools.

The Father’s Day lesson: You can’t beat a barbecue.

Shopping Siren’s dad, for example, loves barbecuing so much that he’s been known to grill in the middle of a snowstorm. As long as he can shovel a path to the grill, he’s good to go. A warm, sunny June? Fuggedaboutit. He’s out there several times a week, happily flipping burgers, skewering kabobs and working to get the fire just so. 

Maybe it’s a guy thing. Or maybe a dad thing. Either way, mom doesn’t have all those pots and pans to clean after dinner. Happiness reigns.

* Weber Genesis S-330 gas grill, Agren Appliance, $999.99

Let’s get the big-ticket item out of the way first. This massive stainless steel grill has three main burners, a warming rack and 637 square inches of total cooking area. Go big or go home! Um. Well, sure, you don’t need a $1,000 grill to barbecue like a master. But it’s also shiny. 

* Red Sox or Patriots four-piece grill set, Agren Appliance, $39.99

Set includes spatula, tongs, brush and a wicked-looking fork, all with a Red Sox or Patriots logo. Sports and grilling. Add beer and you have the dad trifecta.

* Moophrey Vegan-Vegetarian Burgers, 4 count, Axis Natural Foods, $5.09

Organic soy burgers allow the vegan, vegetarian or cholesterol-conscious dad to grill without guilt. Because barbecue isn’t all about the meat. Except when it is.

* The Great Organic Uncured Beef Hot Dog by Applegate, 8 count, Axis Natural Foods, $7.53

Frozen organic hot dogs made from humanely raised, grass-fed beef. No nitrates. Gluten free. Grill a hot dog and feel good about it.

* Annie’s Naturals organic original barbecue sauce, 12 ounces, Axis Natural Foods, $4.39

Another barbecue staple that’s organic and gluten free, which is good considering the amount of sauce slathering that goes on at some barbecues. (OK, mine.)

* Cucina Toscana grilling sauces, 12 ounces, T.J. Maxx, $2.99

Want a grilling sauce with a bit more kick than the traditional? These Cucina Toscana sauces come in honey bourbon, ginger teriyaki or Jamaican jerk flavors. Oh lovely grilling sauce, you had me at honey. Also, bourbon.

* Picnic Time sports chair, T.J. Maxx, $39.99

Red or green chair features a fold-out plastic side table, several side pockets and an insulated bottle holder. As tricked out as any chair has the right to be. Perfect for the dad who wants to relax in comfort as he barbecues hot dogs by the campfire. Though, really, who doesn’t?

* Sauce and bean pot, T.J. Maxx, $6.99

Small pot perfect for warming sauce or beans on the grill. The product name isn’t as cool as The Great Organic Uncured Beef Hot Dog, but so few things are.

Best find: Jim Beam grilling branding iron, T.J. Maxx, $12.99

Using the pack of metal letters provided, you can create a custom brand and sear any message you want into your burgers and steaks. Note: “Jim Beam” is a permanent part of the iron, which means that will also be branded into your dinner, just above your message. So if you get this for your dad, tell him to be careful. Not all occasions — or mates — are fit for “Jim Beam I love you.”

Think twice: Charcoal Companion 12.75-inch pizza grilling pan, T.J. Maxx, $7.99

I’m all for grilling, but not when it comes to pizza. The smoky, charcoal flavor just doesn’t appeal to my palate. Not when there are so many other great things to throw on the barbie. Including a stripy tie.

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who dream of munching on roasted hotdogs while they relax in tricked-out dog beds) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.