I have only skimmed C.S.Lewis’ book “Surprised by Joy,” but it was enough to gleam that he was expressing the deep feeling of joy that comes bubbling up from the very depths of our souls and overflows our hearts so much that we are brought to tears. I have felt that kind of joy.

Joy surprised me when I understood that love is all there is. It is the foundation of all else. Romance, family, friendship, or religious background don’t determine love. It isn’t something we dole out conditionally; that’s not love.

The action behind each of these expressions makes love what it is. If we could only understand this much earlier in life, and I realize many do, it would make so much difference in how we treat each other. We’d be able to reach out to each other without fear, lovingly tell the truth, and be comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.

We would understand that there are “no buts” in love. This love brings the joy that sets us free and our hearts on fire, and we know that it isn’t the type of love that matters; it’s the action behind loving. It opens us to infinite possibilities in the ways we express love.

Do you remember when you didn’t feel joyful? Did you ever slow enough to realize you had forgotten how? I don’t know when I stopped feeling joyful. When one is busy running away from something invisible and unconscious to us, we are not apt to pick up on these details. Interestingly enough, I remember realizing I didn’t know the feeling of joy.

I became perfectly still at that moment as I realized I had forgotten how to laugh. I can say that I was surprised by the recognition that joy didn’t factor into my life.

The day came when I was out on a meditative walk, and suddenly, my understanding of the true meaning of love caused joy to come bubbling up. It sent me dancing on my toes like the ballerina I will never be, and yet, with my arms straight out on each side of me and spinning around, in my heart, I was that dancer.

Once we grasp this soul-flooding feeling and understanding, bubbling joy stays with us and causes us to remember joy in lesser times. It helps us conquer our fears and guides us to more loving actions. Will there still be times when we feel sad, angry, or otherwise misguided?

I’m confident there will be, but these moments become less frequent. Instead of power, they become about how we feel when we interact with each other and how loving actions inspire joy.

This week I was inspired by remembering my healing journey and the awareness it has brought. I remain surprised by the joy brought by the good things we can do when we feel loved and show love.

It’s said that “awareness is the first step in healing.” Perhaps it’s more accurate to say awareness happens when we have begun to heal.