Why we Relay

I’m constantly asked, “Why do you do this?” Wouldn’t it be easier to just write a check? It would certainly be more comfortable being cozy at home in the middle of the night, rather than walking around a track in all weather conditions at the Fairgrounds. Why go to so much trouble?

I think back on my sister and the hours upon hours of chemo, followed by days of severe nausea, the burn and pain of radiation, the embarrassment of having all your hair fall out and the frustration in having to explain to everyone that people who don’t smoke get lung cancer too. But most of all, I think of the injustice of having to say goodbye to your husband and teenaged children far too soon.

When it comes down to it, doing the Relay every year for the past 15 years is a pretty small sacrifice on my part. For all that my sister, my father, my mother-in-law, three of my four grandparents and countless others in my life have so unfairly endured, my sacrifice pales in comparison. But I make it in hopes of making a difference and perhaps changing the outcome for others.

Despite all that she endured, my little sister Margaret taught me a valuable lesson. She managed to keep a sense of humor in situations where a bright side is pretty hard to find. For all the seriousness in its mission, the Relay For Life does just that.

I relay for my children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and beyond so that one day there will be a cure for cancer. I relay to celebrate the many birthdays that survivors continue to have and to remember family and friends who have lost their battles with cancer.

Dee LaPlant

I became involved because my employer was involved. As a participant I would come and walk for a couple of hours enjoying the festivities and the exercise. Every year I became more and more involved because of all the great people I met and the fun things that were going on. After about four years, I decided to take a turn at being the team captain for the Franklin Savings Bank team. All along, I am seeing more and more people being affected by the disease. I think it was the year that I was team captain when one of our employees got the call at the Relay that her sister had cancer.

She handled it like a champ and her strength made quite an impression on me. It wasn’t long before cancer crept into my family, too. That gave me an even clearer picture of what the patient and their family goes through. The strength that people find is really amazing. You can almost feel it in the air at the Relay. That’s what keeps me involved at the Relay along with the feeling that I am helping somehow.

There’s a helpless feeling of not being able to do anything about cancer or its effect on my friends and loved ones, but I can Relay with others and feel like I am actually doing something about it. It’s the only way I can make a difference. Now I’m involved at the planning committee level and have been chair or co-chair for about three years running.

David Lingard

I first have been affected by cancer by family passing. The first experience that I knew about was my mother. My mother passed on at an early age, between 27-29 years of age. I did not know my mom very well at all, as I grew up with my father. I met my mother first when I was nine years old. When I had met her she was in the hospital and they, at first, were not going to let me see her because I was too young.

My father made it so I could see her though. When I went into the room she was lying there in the bed and I did not know who she was. She was swollen from being hooked up to her IV too long. Well, when we first met eyes it was like the most, biggest feeling I had ever felt in my life. ‘

We thought that she was too delicate as I was told to be careful with her. My mother was not worried about that she took me up on the bed on her and hugged me so hard. It was the best feeling, I tell you, in the world at that time. If it was not for her cervical cancer, I probably would have not met her when I did the first time.

The second time I went to see her by myself. I will let you know it was the best time I have ever felt in my life to able to call someone “mom.” We spent so much time together they even brought a hospital bed to the house in Florida so I could be with her more. I got to sleep next to her and feel her next to me. That was the next best thing I had ever felt in my life.

Then it was time to leave and go home back here to Maine. It was a dark and hard rainy morning. I saw mom through the rain standing at the house door waving to me and I waved to her. At that time, little did I know, it would be the last time I would see her. I got home back with my father and the next thing I remember is after a phone call I remember my dad started to cry.

I asked my father what’s wrong and he asked me to come to him so I did. Through his tears he said to me, “Dave I am sorry but your mother just passed away.” I really did not know how to feel at that time as I never lost anyone before in my life I was only 11.

So needless to say that was my first experience with cancer was the loss of my mother who I had never know really known to begin with. I had never forgotten what my father had told me as it stuck in my head as one of the most wonderful things he had ever said to me. He said to me, “Dave your mom stayed alive two more weeks just to see her baby one more time.”

After that, I have had a few friends pass on from cancer and other family members have had friends whose other halves pass away from it. I have lost so many in that way as well as through them. Cancer has hurt me in so many ways in my life. My grandmother passed away from cancer as well before I was born so I was never able to meet her.

My aunt Vivian passed away from pancreatic cancer about two years ago. All of these people who I had an attachment through family and friends have really taught me about how life is unpredictable. You never know when it is your time to go especially with that terrible disease of cancer.

In 2013, around July, I had an MRI on my mid back to see why I had such a horrible back pain. Everything in my back was fine, thank goodness, cause I have enough going on back there to begin with. The doctors found a mass in my kidney and boy was I scared about that. So next time I was sent to a kidney specialist and after certain test were done they were concerned of what had come through with those tests.

So I was sent to have a consultation about having the mass removed because it was in an awkward place to begin with and the size was bigger than they liked. They decided to go in and remove it to find out what it was. Well a few days after the surgery I found out it is malignant cancer, a better kind of all the cancers, but still when I heard cancer I was scared.

I joined the UMF Relay to walk and share my story with others and hear how it has affected their lives. I also walked with everyone I have known or loved in my heart thinking I am not walking alone I am walking for them as if they were there.

I must say that when I first experienced one of these Relays at UMF I never felt so much love and dedication in my life in that group of people I had a pleasure to be with that night. I will make a point to do everything I can from now on to either volunteer or be there as a survivor to honor ALL who have passed and who have survived or are fighting cancer.

Why do I relay? It makes me feel good to help people that have just had their world turn upside down, letting them know that they are not alone, knowing I can make a difference and put a smile on someone’s face is worth all the hard work we put into this Relay.

Jeannine McDonald

In 1996 my sister Kathy and I were both very excited, awaiting the birth of our girls. Christy, my sister’s daughter, was born May 18, and my daughter Sarah was born May 28. We were young mothers excited to think of our daughters’ first breath, first step, well you get the picture. All we wanted to do was to spend every moment with our precious little angels. It was my first child and her second. She had five-year-old Ray.

While nursing her new baby, my sister found a lump in her breast. She wasn’t too concerned, but mentioned it to her doctor during her regular visit. Kathy was only 29 years old. Her doctor was fairly young, very intelligent, a wonderful young mother. Through examination, Kathy’s doctor thought that she had a clogged milk duct. She instructed her to treat it with warm moist heat and to come back if it didn’t get better.

The lump grew. Another visit or two and my sister received the news that she had breast cancer. Soon after my sister’s diagnosis, our older sister Cindy, our mother Helen, and myself all decided to get our first mammograms. My mother’s mammogram also showed a lump in her breast. Mom, Helen, was 49 when she was diagnosed. Both had Stage 3 breast cancer.

We all Relayed together at the first Relay For Life in Franklin County, held at the fairgrounds 1998. Both my sister and my mom joined in the Survivor Lap. Our children all stayed and joined in. The girls were both toddlers then, pushing their dolls in their strollers along the walk. Sadly mom lost her battle, she passed away in 2001. Kathy lost her battle in 2003. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think of these two bravest of the bravest women.

Since this, our first personal experience with cancer, many of our family members have been diagnosed and have lost their battles. Two of my mother’s siblings and her very best friend have lost their battles.

In 2006, Kathy’s daughter Christy and my daughter Sarah created their first youth team. Many of their classmates joined them. I was their team chaperone and from that year on, we have stayed up every night one night a year to Relay with others with similar stories. Team members were added and some moved on, but the team and our family continues to Relay for our loved ones as we all keep praying for a cure. This year the girls and many of the 2014 Mt. Blue Relay Team will be graduating from high school and leaving for college. They will hopefully have opportunities to join other teams.

I Relay because it’s the only thing that I can do. Through education and communication and the community spirit that we share at Relays, WE WILL BEAT CANCER! Our youth is an important part of our future. See you at the Relay, 2014!!

Mort Stabulis

I Relay to try and keep kicking CANCER’S ass. It gives me a good feeling. And for our daughter, Rhonda . Plus it kinda keeps me out of some trouble, ya know…